


Explanations Take time

by cindyls1969



Category: Jansis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 06:24:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1418290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cindyls1969/pseuds/cindyls1969
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake and Van haven't seen each other in a few years when fate suddenly pushes them together.</p><p>This was written for the What Did You Do prompt meme community on LJ for the prompt "I think you owe me an explanation" prompted by Jim</p>
            </blockquote>





	Explanations Take time

It was the window that first caught Jake’s attention. It was full of twinkling lights and spinning toys and he couldn’t help but take a closer look. 

The inside of the store looked warm and welcoming and he found himself drawn through the door before he could really think about it. It was quieter on the inside than he’d imagined, with soft music playing and the sounds of children giggling from the back of the room making it a pleasant respite from the hustle and bustle of the city.

Jake looked around, completely amazed by all the toys on display. He’d never seen anything like it in his life. There were dolls and windup toys that Jake has only seen at his grandparents place or in pictures and there wasn’t one that seemed to take batteries or plug into the wall. 

He was standing and admiring a display of wooden cars when someone touched his arm. “Jake?”

Turning, Jake found himself staring into caramel colored eyes that he hadn’t seen in almost 6 years. “Van? Oh my god, you look just the same!” 

Van smiled and the dimples that just about drove Jake to distraction more than once appeared and it was like standing in the sun after being in the dark for years. 

They reached for each other at the same time and the hug that followed felt like coming home and Jake could feel the sting of tears behind his eyes. 

“I’ve missed you so much, Jake. I can’t believe it’s been so long…too long since I’ve seen that handsome face.” Van hadn’t pulled away completely, keeping his fingers curled in the lapels of Jake’s jacket and Jake couldn’t bring himself to let go of Van’s arms.

“I know. It’s crazy right? The fangirls and boys would be so disappointed in us.” Jake tried to laugh it off like it was a joke, but knew he wasn’t succeeding when the smile faded from Van’s face.

“Yeah, they would. I’m kind of disappointed in myself.” Van dropped his gaze to Jake’s chest. “I’m sorry I was so stupid.”

Jake shook his head. “We were both stupid. I got busy, you got busy…I should have tried harder…but Van, I think you owe me an explanation. What did I do?”

Van raised his head and his eyes were watery and filled with pain and it was a look that Jake remembered from the last time he’d seen Van in person. “You didn’t do anything, Jake. It was all me.” He tried to pull away but Jake tightened his grip.

“No, don’t run away again. Please. I need to know.” Losing Van out of his life was the worst thing that had ever happened to Jake. It had left a hole that he’d never been able to fill with anything or anyone.

Van squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath, but just as he was about to speak, a little girl came running up to him. “Daddy, the story’s over now. Can we go and get ice cream? Mama says it’s up to you.”

Jake watch numbly as Van opened his eyes and smiled before reaching down to pick the child up and swung her into his arms. “Of course we can sweetheart, just give me a minute will you?” He looked up at Jake. “Katrina, this is daddy’s friend Jake. Can you say hello?”

She looked at Jake and smiled and Jake felt his heart breaking at how much she looked like Van. She was beautiful and he couldn’t help smiling back at her. “Hello, Katrina. It’s very nice to meet you.”

The way she looked at him made he feel like she could see inside his soul and when she reached out her arms, he took her without quite meaning to. She wrapped her little arms around his neck while Van looked on with wide eyes as she whispered loudly in Jake’s ear. 

“You’re the man in the pictures in daddy’s room. He always smiles at you before he goes to bed.” She pulled back and grinned at him, obviously pleased with herself and then laughed when Van squeaked and threw up his arms, obviously embarrassed. 

“Oh my god, I can’t believe…” Van covered his face and sighed before looking up and reaching for Katrina. “I’m sorry Jake, she doesn’t…shit.” Van was a loss for words and Jake couldn’t help being amused because he knew from experience it didn’t happen very often.

“Daddy, mama says you’re not supposed to say bad words around me.” Katrina’s blond curls bounced as she folded her arms and looked at her father with a fierce glare.  
Van nodded and kissed her cheek. “You’re absolutely right, I’m not. Remind me that I’ll have to put some money in the swear jar, okay?” She nodded and he set her on the floor. “Go back to mama and Terry. I’ll be right there as soon as I say goodbye to Jake.”

“Okay daddy.” She looked at Jake and waved before running to the back of the store.

They both watched her go before turning back to each other. Jake started to speak but Van cut him off. “You’re right, I do owe you an explanation…several I think, if you’re still interested.”

“Of course I am.” Jake rubbed the back of his neck, an old nervous habit he’d picked up while filming with Van. 

“Can we meet for coffee somewhere or something?” He looked so desperate and worried, like he was sure that Jake was going to turn him down.

“Why don’t you come to my place? Not sure we need an audience for this conversation.” Jake wanted the whole story and he was afraid he wouldn’t get it if they were in a public setting.

Van hesitated and for a moment Jake thought he’d say no but hen then he shook his head and chuckled. “Sure, that would be great. What’s your address?”

Jake rattled it off and Van looked at him, raising his eyebrow. “You’re still there?”

Jake shrugged. “I liked it when I bought and I still do. Never had a reason to move.”

“And no one to move for?” The question was asked almost too easily but Jake could hear the need for an answer in Van’s voice.

“No, close…but no, no one.” There had been girlfriends over the years, and one boyfriend, but Van wouldn’t know that.

“Huh.” Van eyed Jake searchingly and then patted his shoulder. “Ok, I can be there about 8. Is that too late?”

Jake laughed. “No, it’s fine. I’m pretty sure you’re worth the wait.”

He wondered if it was stupid to use his most famous Noah line, but if the way Van blushed and smiled shyly at him was any indication, he didn’t mind. Jake knew that if the fans had ever seen this side of the other man, the frenzy that had followed them would have been one hundred times crazier. Van was gorgeous like this.

“Jerk.” Van ducked his head and tucked his hair behind his ear. “I just promised to tuck Katrina in and I don’t want to let her down.” 

Jake smiled. “It’s no problem. I understand that she has to come first.” 

“Thanks. I’ll see you later.” Van kissed him on the cheek and then walked to back of the store. He stopped and looked back over his shoulder once, smiling sweetly when he saw that Jake was still watching.

When Jake could no longer see him, he turned and walked out the door, suddenly eager to get home and make sure the place was ready for company.

The rest of the day dragged by slowly as Jake tried not to overthink what might happen. Over the years he’d thought about Van lot and what had happened to pull them apart but he’d never been able to figure it out.

They’d been best friends almost from the day Jake started on the show. Everyone had been shocked at how quickly Van had accepted Jake because he’d apparently been slow to warm up to new cast members in the past.

He and Jake had started spending most of their free time together and if Jake was honest with himself, he really hadn’t questioned when spending time with Van became more important that spending time with the girlfriend he’d been seeing at the time.

Van had just fallen into Jake’s life head first and somehow just seemed to fit like he’d always been there. Even through the darkest days on the show, when they knew it was going to end and the fans were in a frenzy they managed to keep that out of their friendship.

But after the show ended, when they were both trying to figure out where they were going in their careers, something shifted. Van pulled away, slow enough that Jake didn’t notice until it was too late. He’d gotten so busy with plays and everything else that it felt like Van was there one minute and gone the next.

When he’d found out that Van was moving to L.A. Jake had taken it badly. He’d felt abandoned, especially as he’d only found out a few days before Van had left and that was from Billy in a phone call. 

A drunken confrontation in the lobby of Van’s building had led to hurtful words and Jake almost punching Van before storming off in anger and walking home…it had taken him 2 hours.

When he’d sobered up, he’d gone back to apologize but Van was gone. They’d emailed back and forth for a while when Jake had sent a heartfelt apology but they’d quickly dwindled to nothing and it had been years since they’d talked.

It wasn’t until he’d met Kevin and dated him for a while that he came to grips with the fact that he’d been in love with Van and unable to admit it. By then it was too late.

He was trying not to put too much meaning into this visit. Van wanted to explain himself and that was it. He’d obviously moved on although Jake could admit he was more than a little surprised that Van had settled down with a woman. He’d confessed to Jake about being gay the first week they’d been friends and Jake had never seen him look twice at a woman.

But Katrina was very obviously Van’s biological daughter. She had his eyes and his dimples and like her father, she was brash and brave and he’d adored her immediately. How she came to be was the biggest at this point and it was one of the many questions that he was hoping that Van would answer for him.

Jake looked around the apartment, finally satisfied that it was tidy enough for company and hurried to the bedroom to shower and get dressed. A glance at the clock beside the bed showed him that it was almost 8 and that he needed to hurry. Van wasn’t known for his punctuality, but there was a first time for everything.

He showered quickly, ignoring the low, aching throb in his balls and the fact that his dick had been half-hard since he first saw Van that afternoon. Once he was clean, he turned the water to cold, hoping to get his libido in check. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he got out of the shower and towelled off before walking back into his bedroom and trying to decide what to wear. 

Jake had just stepped into his jeans (he wasn’t admitting to himself that he’d pawed through his underwear drawer to find something that might possibly be considered sexy) when the doorbell rang.

Van had apparently improved his time telling skills while Jake’s had faltered. He froze for a moment until it rang again and then grabbed a white button-up shirt from the closet and slipped it on just as he opened the door.

Van was standing there, a bottle of wine in one hand and he looked gorgeous. Jake obviously wasn’t the only one who’d been thinking about looking his best.

“Wow!” Van looked kind of stunned as he looked at Jake.

“Wow what?” Jake looked around, confused as to what Van was talking about.

“Wow you! I think you’ve gotten even more gorgeous over the years.” 

Jake blushed and ducked his head. “Oh. Well, I think you need glasses. I’ve gotten older. You’re the one who looks just as beautiful as you ever did.”

Van’s eyes widened. “You think I’m beautiful?”

Jake found himself taking a step closer without really meaning to. “Van, I’ve always thought you were beautiful. I just didn’t know what it meant.”

Van inhaled sharply. “I think we have some stuff we really need to talk about.”

Jake nodded. “That’s why you’re here, right?” He took a deep breath and moved back, out of the doorway and gesturing for Van to come in.

Van walked past him and Jake was surrounded by the scent of his past. Soap, shampoo and Van. It brought to mind many nights spent curled up on the couch together watching bad horror movies and drinking beer. He couldn’t help but smile.

Van’s voice brought him out of his memories. “What are you smiling about?”

“You smell good.” Jake didn’t even think about censoring his words. He was done pretending.

Van looked startled but then smiled. “I don’t know what’s going on with you Jake, but I think I like it.” He offered Jake the wine. “Why don’t you open this and pour us a glass. I don’t know about you, but I’m a little nervous.”

Jake took the bottle and grinned at Van. “Sounds like a good idea. The kitchen’s this way.” He turned and went to the kitchen and he was pretty sure that Van’s gaze never left his ass they whole way.

“Is it still your favorite?” 

Jake looked at the bottle. “Yep. I guess once I start liking things, I just keep liking them.” He looked back over his shoulder at Van and winked as he dug the corkscrew out of the drawer.

Van didn’t say anything, just waited with a shy smile on his face as Jake opened the wine and then handed him a glass.

Jake poured his own glass and then grabbed the bottle and headed for the living room. They settled onto opposite ends of the couch, facing each other with their knees drawn up and their toes touching.

“I guess I’ll start with Katrina?” Van sounded nervous and Jake reached down and wrapped his hand around Van’s ankle, rubbing it soothingly. “It’s not what you think. I mean, she is mine, but her mom and I aren’t together…never were.” Van looked at the glass in his hand instead of at Jake. “Her mom is a friend of mine I met out in California. Chris wanted a baby badly. She’d been dreaming about it for years and didn’t want to wait until she was in a relationship to have one. We talked about it for months and I knew she’d be an awesome mom.”

Van drained his glass and then set it on the table. “I didn’t know I wanted a kid until her and I talked about it so much. I was nervous but I thought it might be my only chance to be a dad, so when she finally asked, I said yes.” 

Jake laughed. “I can’t imagine you having sex with a girl.” 

Van shook his head. “We didn’t. It was all doctors and clinics and gay porn in a private room. It took two tries before she got pregnant and she lost the first one.”

“Oh Van…I’m so sorry.” Jake didn’t know what to say. From the look on Van’s face, it was still a painful memory.

“No, it’s okay. We worked through it and now there’s Katrina.” Van laced his fingers together, something he did when he was trying not to fidget. “When she was born, it was the best day of my life.” He looked up at Jake. “And the first person I wanted to call was you.”

Jake swallowed around the lump in this throat. “I wish you would have.”

Van nodded. “Yeah me too.”

“She’s beautiful you know. Looks just like you.” Jake smiled at Van blushed.

“Jake, are you flirting with me?” Van looked confused…and hopeful.

“If I was, would that be okay?” Jake hated being so vulnerable but he knew that he couldn’t let any more time pass without Van knowing how he felt.

“I think so. I’m just wondering…I don’t know.” He took a deep breath. “How long have you felt this way?”

Jake shrugged. “A long time. Back on the show I think. I just didn’t know it for what it was.” He rubbed Van’s ankle. “I’m sorry. I wish I hadn’t been so stupid. Is that...” He was scared to ask, but knew he needed to. “Is that what happened? Did you…could you…” Jake trailed off, unsure how to ask.

“Yeah. I did.” Van smiled shyly. “I do.” He reached out and took Jake’s hand. “It’s why I pulled away. It was too hard, feeling the way I did and not being able to do anything about it. I knew sooner or later I’d snap and do something stupid so I ran. I should have talked to you about it, but I didn’t know how.”

Jake squeezed his hand and smiled. “We were both kinda stupid. Not talking seems to be our best subject. Maybe we should try and do better?”

Van nodded and scooted a little closer, never letting go of Jake’s hand. “Do you think…” He trailed off, blushing.

“Do I think what?” Jake sat up, letting one leg slide along the back of the couch, so that Van was sitting almost in his lap.

“Do you think you wanna kiss me?” He looked so sweet and unsure and Jake just couldn’t let him wonder for a second more. He leaned in and gently brushed their lips together before pulling back to see Van’s reaction. 

The hand gripping his tightened and Van’s eyes got dark and Jake couldn’t resist pulling him in for a real kiss. He brought his hand up to angle Van’s face, like he had so long ago when they’d kissed as Luke and Noah.

This was nothing like that though. Jake was almost overwhelmed by emotion as Van’s lips slipped against his and then parted when Jake touched them with his tongue, granting him entry. 

Van slid up until he was straddling Jake’s lap, all caution gone and it was the most amazing thing Jake had ever felt. He’d had no idea how much Van had been holding back until that moment, when Van let go and let Jake feel everything he’d been hiding.

By the time the kiss broke, they were both panting for breath and Jake could see Van starting to panic and start to pull away. Instead of letting him go, Jake held him tighter, pushing against him to let Van feel the effect he had on him as he looked into Van’s eyes.

He could see the moment that Van realized that Jake was rock hard in his jeans from just kissing him. Jake eased his grip when Van stopped struggling and he smiled when Van reached between them to run his hand over the bulge in Jake’s jeans.

Jake moaned and tried to push into the touch but was hampered by Van’s weight on his lap. Sliding his hands under Van’s ass, Jake heaved himself off the couch and smiled when the other man clung to him. 

“Jesus Christ, Jake. Knew you’d gotten bigger but this is just fucking hot.” Van locked his legs around Jake’s waist and kissed him frantically. 

Jake pulled back and looked into Van’s eyes. “We’re not doing our first time on the couch.” He took a deep breath and shifted Van to a better grip. “Is this gonna be our first time?” Jake didn’t want to assume anything, but god he wanted Van.

Van nipped at Jake’s jaw and growled into his ear. “I think we’ve wasted enough time, don’t you?”

Jake turned and walked out of the living room and stopped in front of his bedroom door. “Abso-fucking-lutey. Now reach down and open the door.”

Van shivered in his arms before turning the knob and pushing the door open. Jake hurried to the bed and tossed Van onto it carefully. 

“Look at you…so fucking beautiful on my bed.” Jake slid his shirt off and tossed it on the floor. “You should start getting naked.”

Next time, Jake was gonna take his time and undress Van slowly, tasting every inch of his body as he went. This time, however, he was just too impatient.

Van’s eyes darkened even more and then he was scrambling to pull his shirt off. Once that was gone, he reached for the button on his jeans but Jake crawled onto the bed and pushed his hand away. 

He carefully popped the button and slowly pulled down the zipper, his eyes never leaving Van’s. “I’ve been dreaming about doing this for a long time, Van.” He licked his lips, smiling when Van did the same. He grabbed the waist band of Van’s jeans and pulled them off, taking his underwear with him.

“Fuck.” Van was gloriously naked in his bed…a veritable feast for the taking and Jake couldn’t wait to get started.

Jake crawled up the bed, blanketing Van and kissing him desperately. Van wrapped both arms around his neck, pulling him down harder. Jake grinned against his mouth when Van hooked his legs around Jake’s hips and ground himself up against him. 

Jake lost himself in kissing Van and was surprised when he pushed hard against Jake’s chest. Pulling back, he looked down at Van, worried that he was changing his mind. “Van?”  
Van growled and reached between them, fumbling with the buttons that made up Jake’s fly. “Get these fucking jeans off. Wanna feel you against me.”

Jake reluctantly got up and shoved his jeans and underwear off before lowering himself down on Van. The first touch of skin on skin made them both gasp and then they were pressed together, limbs intertwined and Jake held on as tight as he could, scared that after all the time they’d wasted, Van would just disappear.

They kissed until they couldn’t breathe and when Jake pulled back to catch his breath, Van smiled softly at him. “Have you ever? I mean…” He trailed off.

Jake nodded. “Yeah, I dated a guy for a while a couple years ago.”

Van’s legs tightened around him and red-hot jealousy flashed through his eyes. Jake smile and stroked his knuckles down Van’s cheek. “I wish it had been you, but I don’t regret Kevin. He helped me figure out how I felt about you.”

Van pulled Jake down for another kiss and then whispered in his ear. “I want you to make love to me. I need you…”

Jake’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. “Yeah. I can do that.”

Van grinned and rolled them over, kissing Jake fiercely before mouthing his way down Jake’s chest. He nipped and licked at Jake’s nipples before sliding down to suck his cock into his mouth. 

Jake arched up off the bed, crying out at the feeling of warm, wet suction and he knew dimly that if he didn’t get Van to stop, he wasn’t going to be able to last. Jake grabbed Van by the hair, pulling him off and surging up to kiss him before rolling him underneath him once more.

“I’ve waited too long for you. I want to be inside you when I come.” Jake’s voice sounded rough in his own ears and Van shivered and nodded his head.

Jake was never more grateful for his long arms as he reached into the night table and grabbed the bottle of lube he kept there along with a couple of condoms. Just because it had been a while didn’t mean he wasn’t prepared.

He sat back on his heels between Van’s knees, ripped open one of the condoms, and rolled it on before opening the bottle of lube and slicking up his fingers. 

Jake’s eyes never left Van’s face as he slowly and carefully worked him open, stopping often, despite Van’s protests to kiss him because he just couldn’t seem to help himself. The whimpers and pleading that fell from Van’s mouth urged Jake to hurry, but he took his time because he wanted to savor this first time they had together.

When he had three fingers moving in and out of Van’s hole easily, he pulled them out and slicked himself up and then wiped his hand on the blanket. He lined himself up and pressed into Van slowly, until he was all the way in. The feeling was incredible and it took everything he had to hold still until Van let him know that he was ready.

“Come on, babe. I need you to move.” Van reached up and pulled Jake down for a kiss. “Please.”

Jake nodded and pulled back before sliding back in slowly. He kept the pace slow at first but soon he couldn’t deny Van who was begging him for harder and faster. He shifted his body and hooked Van’s legs over his arms, giving him a better angle and he started thrusting hard. 

“Oh god Jake…just like that…right fucking there!” Van was clutching at Jake’s shoulder with one hand while stroking his cock hard and fast with the other. 

Jake could feel his orgasm starting to build in the base of his spine but wanted Van to come first. “Gonna come for me Van? Come on…let me see.”

He slammed home a few more times, changing his angle until Van was crying out with every thrust. Just when Jake was sure he couldn’t hold back anymore, yelled Jake’s name as came, pulse after pulse of liquid heat landing on his stomach and chest.

The feeling of Van falling apart around him pushed Jake over the edge and he came shaking and barely able to breathe as his orgasm overtook him.

Once the last spasm had passed, he pulled out of Van carefully and got rid of the condom before collapsing on the bed beside him and pulling him into his arms. Van went bonelessly, snuggling in close.

“Hi.” Van’s voice was soft and shy against Jake’s neck and it made him pull Van closer.

“You okay?” Jake kissed the top of Van’s head and rubbed his back.

“Yep, I’m kinda perfect. I mean, as long…” Van trailed off and Jake nudged his head up so he could see his eyes.

“As long as what?”

Van blushed. “As long as this isn’t a one-time thing?”

Jake chuckled. “I’ve waited so damned long, I’m not sure I’m letting you out of bed for the next two days…well, except to shower and eat.” He kissed Van again. “This is definitely not a one-time thing…I promise.”

Van beamed at him and kissed him hard and Jake knew that he’d do just about anything to keep Van smiling at him like that. “What about Katrina? You have to go home to her?”

Van shook his head. “No, she lives with her mom. I usually see her a couple times a week. I’m all yours for a couple days. But you should be warned…she’s dying to see you again and she’s got a zillion questions for you.”

Jake stroked Van’s cheek. “I can’t wait to get to know her. If she’s anything like her father, it won’t be long until I’m in love with her.”

Van’s smile softened as he looked at Jake. “I can’t wait either. I’m finally gonna have the two most important people in my life at the same time.”

Jake hugged him tight. “I’m sorry it took so long, but I’ll make it worth it.”

“It already is.” Van laid his head down tiredly and drifted to sleep. 

As Jake drifted off, he sent up a silent pray of thanks to fate for steering him in the direction of that toy store. It had been a long time coming but Jake was finally getting his chance to be with the man he’d loved for what felt like forever.


End file.
